Blogitoxicology: An Honest Look at Negativity
“Everyone has a little secret he keeps;
I light the fires while the city sleeps”
- MC 900 ft. Jesus, “The City Sleeps”
I read an article Monday on Kyle Lacy’s blog that had me all charged up, thinking maybe I could change the world with my next blog post. You know. Really set the world on fire. This would be a good thing.
Then I received my own personal bitch-slap by Dr. Alejandro Junger, who, in his groundbreaking book Clean, writes about the toxicity of complaint. It seems that EVERYONE is complaining. The cumulative effect is a scourge of quantum toxins, which is drowning our bodies and spirits like the Indonesian tsunami. This would be a bad thing.
What does this have to do with little old me? In the recently overhauled About section of my website, I describe myself as a Friction Writer – basically a complainer who sparks healthy discourse. So . . . .
Thorny question #1: Am I just another societal arsonist with a WordPress account that the world could do without?
Thorny question #2: Can complaint, negativity, and overt sarcasm be positive?
Thorny question #3: Is it OK to get my daily potassium from french fries . . .everyday? They are potatoes, after all.
McGWIRY QUAGMIRY MESS
Asking me about using and abusing negativity sort of feels like asking Mark McGwire about using and abusing steroids.
First, to deny using steroids would both embarrass him and insult our intelligence. Second, admitting he used steroids to “get & stay healthy” automatically tarnishes his baseball career and home run record. Third, to assert (as he did) that he would have hit just as many home runs without the steroids makes him a bigger laughingstock. In my opinion, he was disingenuous in the Bob Costas interview, and made himself look even worse as he backpedalled.
So here I sit – with slightly less infamy than McGwire – attempting to justify negativity when I know it’s kinda wrong. Kinda toxic. Affecting me. And maybe, worst of all, affecting you.
If you were Costas interviewing me, you would be justified in bringing up my last few days of Twitter posts (where I micro-blog) as evidence:
You know, I’m not exactly slamming nerds into their lockers and giving swirlies in the boys’ bathroom. But scrolling further, you’d see more of the same: a theme of mostly unsolicited stabs at weakness, either at myself or someone else.
MY TAP DANCE
Here’s my problem: I think all of these posts are funny. For example, I really do think Hootie & the Blowfish suck. Lazy grammar schmucks? You deserve a good defenestration. Local newscasters? Who’s going to defend them? No, they’re not real people. I mean, just look at Frank Billingsley for God’s sake.
AH. So here’s the figuring out of things . . . the battle for balance . . . the fat, sweaty, grappling sumo wrestlers in my brain: Am I a CGWNATSTT (Cavalier Guy Who’s Not Afraid To Speak the Truth)? Or a SIDCHOBBPOEE (Sarcastic Insecure Douche-bag Covering His Own Blemishes By Pointing Out Everyone Else’s?)
So you want the truth? Here it is: in 1988, Jose Canseco slipped me a Mickey and injected some substance into my ass with a hypodermic needle. Must have been some time-release sarcasm potion . . . but that definitely caused everything.
OK I’m too negative. Yes it’s because I care about what other people think. It’s also because I am overly critical of myself. I am terrible (though improving) at accepting awards and praise. I have a deep wound from my past that says I always quit when things get difficult.
All of these present as sarcasm and negativity. These appear everywhere – in my blog, micro-blog and . . OK . . in my everyday interactions with loved ones, store clerks, and those other fools they awarded drivers licenses. But if I review the spirit of my written stuff, the undercurrent is one of care and wholeness. This is certainly not self-verifiable. It’s only identified and backed up by those encouraging me in my inner circle: namely, my wife and about 6 incredibly close friends and relatives. I’m pretty sure it’s the real me.
And the sarcastic, brazen outer shell? That’s to draw you in, of course. Whether it’s Twitter, the blog-o-sphere, or just plain web-surfing, people don’t look for “undercurrents of care and wholeness.” People are intrigued by pain; and HELLO? I have had my share. So I don’t tweet & blog negativity to “get followers” (talk about disingenuous). I think it’s probably more trying to identify my own pain in the universe and address it within a few people who have the endurance to get to know me . . . talk to me in real space . . . and possibly save themselves from the same egregious missteps. Or to help me with mine!
OK. That felt like bench pressing 500 lbs., which I just dropped <CRLONK> onto the floor. SOMEBODY GET CANCSECO OVER HERE. I’M RUNNING OUT OF GO-GO-JUICE.
Feb 04, 2010
I, for one, would love to see you drop the title of Friction Writer. If there is any collateral friction from your writings, so be it; but to willingly embrace the role of the SIDCHOBBPOEE for the sole purpose of creating interest is too expensive a proposition, IMHO.
You’re far too creative to waste your energies on pointing out all that is wrong with the world and the people in it. This is far more than positivity vs. negativity; it’s about CREATIVITY. And you’ve got that in spades! Your efforts to answer the question, “Is this activity worth my creative energies?” will no doubt continue to benefit me and all of us who proudly call you, “friend.”
Feb 04, 2010
This comment is worth an afternoon at Cellar 17 with some Rockpile. Next week, man! Thanks . . as always . .
Feb 05, 2010
Well now that you’re handing out Angus, I’ll go ahead and chime in
Let me just start here: “frompy ingrate”. LMAOROTGS (laughing my ass off rolling on the ground suffocating) – I think that’s hillarious, it’s true, and therefore it’s needed.
Unfortunately in today’s world there are many people who have never had the benefit of total and complete failure, crushing them out of their personal and collective reveries.
I like it when you break some glass. I think you should continue to do so.
Now for the other part, the balance part. Sarcasm, literally cutting the flesh, is great for tumors, but shite for the heart or soul. I do believe there are things that need a good shellacking. That includes not just ideas but people. Why? Because sometimes polite reasoning or fluffy shiny iphone graphics just don’t blow shit up as is occasionally needed.
It’s like trying to get stains out of a piece of clothing using “organic, not toxic, cruelty free” soap. Ever tried it? Done. Doesn’t do shit. You need some Dow Chemical, death in a bottle, Chlorine atomic bleach that almost kills you when you open the lid. Now that works!
I guess I go back and forth from Depak to Drill Sergeant. Not sure if that’s healthy, but I just have to say, in certain situations the “kinder, gentler” thing is just a mask for fearful, pussies who don’t have the guts to state their wholehearted opinion and risk being a fool for something they believe in. Two heroes of mine in this regard are Teddy Roosevelt (Man in the Arena speech) and…wait for it… George S Patton (Speech in June 5th, 1944 England).
These are not only eloquent, vulgar, and demonstrate soulish alacrity. Patton example: “I don’t give a fuck for a man who’s not always on his toes.” Why do I LOVE that?
Or… Roosevelt: “Shame on the man of cultivated taste who permits refinement to develop into fastidiousness that unfits him for doing the rough work of a workaday world.”
Now that’s what I’m talking about!!!
So I guess with most things we just need to buck up and drive forward. But there are also critical times where that laser beam can destroy far more than we think or intend. I try to put it this way…never shoot the hostage. In most situations that frompy ingrate at Denny’s is the hostage and our highest calling is not to war against her…but that which is holding her hostage.
Do I get some steak now?
Feb 06, 2010
Regardless of what you write; it’s about being real. Positive, negative, additive, superlative…who cares. The point is you are real; and your writing either stimulates thought, reaction or the ‘ah-hah’ moment on occasion; and aside from which I enjoy your wit and humor. Take life’s hills & valleys and keep on keepin’ on.
Oh…and be real.
Feb 09, 2010
Wow. I’m laughing my non-steroid-injected butt off over here. Not only at your self-assessment, but at your tweets. I must have been doing something IRL to miss those. Note to self: spend more time on Twitter. It’s funnier than real life.
I actually have the same problem: Twitter is like my complaint zone. I’m working on it. But then, my complaints aren’t nearly as funny as yours.
Feb 09, 2010
@jen – yeah – the “real” thing feels elusive sometimes, because you never know what people interpret from “online output”. To sit down for coffee with someone . . as we have . . well, you get more of the real picture.
@melanie – Twitter feels safe as a complaint zone; plus I doubt Darius Rucker will hunt me down to retaliate . . . even though he probably could and should. There should probably be an ownership or accountability system, where the person who wrote, “meet you at your connivance” could actually defend himself in person TO ME. This could be to exonerate himself (chuckle) or just to kick my ass (attempt anyway) for picking on his otherwise perfect grammar.