“Never, ever ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you physically see the baby coming out.” – Humor columnist Dave Barry

One day not so long ago I took a bike ride in my neighborhood.  As I pedalled down the path, I saw coming toward me what looked to be a punkish little brat on his Mongoose.  Long hair, smacking his gum, low-rider shorts . . . you know the type.  13-ish going on 11.

And we approached each other, I just looked away, thinking he would just ride past quietly, thinking little about me, the Old Dork Dude.  But the most amazing thing happened.

“Hello,” came a friendly tone.

“Hi,” I attempted quickly, probably too late.  And he was gone.

Always one to self-analyze, I felt terrible!  With one glance, I had categorized this kid as an X-Box Generation dipstick with no social skills.  Instead, I discovered that I was the judgmental dipstick.

We just never know the whole story.

THE LIFE & DEATH OF CORDIALITY

Ever since that day on the bike path, I’ve had a heightened awareness of the attitudes of young people.  In restaurants, drive thru windows, and even in my own home, I find myself placing the highest value on cordiality and attitude (not performance).  This is a huge paradigm shift for our performance oriented culture.  It’s one thing to train children (or employees, for that matter) in a skill.  It is a completely different matter to develop their character, their response to failure, how to win graciously, etc.  These are things that I’m still grappling with at 40!

Maybe I’m just getting old.  But I appreciate smiles.  In fact, I tell the wide-eyed teenager at the drive thru:  ”Hey, thanks for smiling.  I really appreciate it!” That’s because it makes a difference.  Also, whether in person or on the phone – I tell customer service reps, “Hey, thanks for remembering my first name.” And even though we may frown as we look upon younger generations, we’ve got to recognize and appreciate the gems that we see.

These kids may not even understand the connection between smiles and repeat business.  Entrepreneurs and marketers everywhere pine for the silver bullet for sales success, when all that is really required is a genuine smile, cordiality, and fair listening skills.

1/3 LESS HABANERO PLEASE

For me, sarcasm and negativity come so easily.  Somehow, they make coping with life’s rigors a bit easier.  For that reason I suppose they are indispensable.  But hiding behind too much contempt can be overkill – kind of like putting too many habaneros into your soup.  It just kills the whole thing.

That’s why I have to be uber-intentional when dealing with attitudes, both my own and those of others.   It’s also why business owners have such a hard time finding good employees; kids – young and old – sometimes can’t seem to leave emotions behind when they arrive to work.  And, often being wage slaves, they aren’t connected to a bigger picture that makes shaping up worth it.  They’re simply ticked off and they don’t care if they’re wearing a Burger King uniform or not.

The end game is that we’ve got to look at ourselves.  Social media guru Kyle P. Lacy puts it best (*ed. quoting Ghandi of course!):  “Be the change that you want to see in the world.”

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