Rainout, Missed Oreo Snack Can’t Douse Oberata’s Blue Jays
KINGWOOD, TX - As torrential rains muddied the KFCBA tee-ball fields Tuesday, parents of the Oberata Blue Jays were seen scrambling in their pantries for Nutter Butters, Oreos, and Capri Suns for fear of ruining team routine and dietary regimen.
“It’s a good thing we acted quickly,” said Team Mom Denise Foster. ”Nutritional setbacks can be devastating for our fine tuned athletes. They just really need to stay on track.”
Blue Jays’ team nutritionist Joe Reposa’s plan has been well heeded by the co-op of parents providing food at each game. ”We pretty much draw the line at Snickas-bahs and Cokes,” Reposa said with his signature Boston accent. ”Anything short of that is fair game.”
Reposa’s genius lies in his “Junk Food For Hits” incentive compensation plan for the players. Because the Blue Jays are substantially under the $30M salary cap, the organization has been able to reward players for good play with sugary snacks.
“It’s why we play,” said 3rd baseman and outfielder Tyler L., “to eat stuff and play around in the dirt!”
“At least they’re not eating the dirt,” one parent remarked.
But what a season it has been. The perfect 0-0-6 Blue Jays are a marvel of modern organization. Thanks to the Zen-like coaching of Tom Chilicki and staff, extreme patience has given berth to extreme results.
“Our batters bat, our chatters chat, and our fielders field,” said Coach Tom, defending his critics. ”Just because our right fielder makes a play on a grounder to third base doesn’t mean he’s not committed to our team. All our guys get an ‘A’ for effort.”
Meanwhile, team sponsor Jeff Timpanaro of Oberata Consulting can’t keep up with the press coverage at each event. ”It’s like our marketing nirvana come true,” said the 39 year old business coach. ”You can’t pay for advertising this good!”
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May 03, 2009
What a hoot! Thanks for the chuckle. Your articles have now received International acclaim, being read around the world. (We live in central Africa – grandparents of national treasure, Newsom, tee-ball’s answer to Soccer’s Beckham.)
May 03, 2009
Wow! Thanks for the comments! Glad I’m making a global impact of sorts
May 06, 2009
Keep the blog coming! It gives me and my family a good laugh! I send it to Ohio and Michigan everytime I get a new installment and the Grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles love it.
May 06, 2009
Thanks Laurie! Glad you’re spreading the fun!
May 08, 2009
Fabulous installment. Keep the updates coming (and the laughs). =)
May 08, 2009
Jennifer: Thank you for the encouragement! Glad you’re enjoying it . .