URINE DETECTOR

Allright.  I’ve been wading in this pee-warm baby pool of social media for about 9 months now.  Some of it has been a hoot.  Some of it has been educational.  I see plainly its value potential for small business.  Really, I do.

Much of it, however, seems to be self-centered, chaotic whoring under the guise of “building relationships”.

HO-BAG

I’ve been hesitant to make any blanket statements about social media use (specifically Twitter), especially since it’s all really a learning experiment that will take a while to bear obvious fruit.  At least it has in my case.  Maybe I’m doing something wrong (likely)?  Or just following all the wrong people.  Or not following through with people.

Yet, my hunch-o-meter is pegging red.  I suspect it’s the dubious process by which people say they’re building relationships on Twitter.

Let’s have a look at the definitions of whore and prostitute:

whore   n.  

   1.  A prostitute.

   2.  A person considered sexually promiscuous.

   3.  A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.

 

pros⋅ti⋅tute   n.

1. a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money; whore; harlot.

2. a man who engages in sexual acts for money.

3. a person who willingly uses his or her talent or ability in a base and unworthy way, usually for money.

I have never paid for a prostitute.  But for all the lurid stories we hear, we can understand what the customer and vendor want in this situation:  a quick, cheap, and shallow transaction.  And none of it is honorable.

First, there are obvious whores.  We UNFOLLOW the tweeters who plow us over with:

I understand the desire to multiply your prospects who are “out there”.  But this is anthropologically stupid marketing.  All it says is, ‘we’ve got stuff here and it’s ON SALE NOW.  Buy now, or you’ll miss out.’  There’s probably no malice intended by the company, and this may well not be the entire thrust of its go-to-market strategy.  But it’s just such naked intrusion and falls OUTSIDE THE CONTEXT of really building relationships.

Then there are the more subtle whores, who think their sales speak will win us over:

Yeah, I hear that slurrrrrrping sound.  Horrific.   And did you notice that each of these messages came out within the same hour?  This particular company felt it was necessary to tweet about 8 sales pitches per hour.  This is not unlike driving down the seedy part of town with your windows down.  “Hey baby!  Ever try me before?”   Then a few blocks later, you miraculously see the same old strumpet.  She sees you coming and says, “Hey baby!  Ever seen the likes of ME before?”  Just ludicrous, right?

Don’t tell me what to try.  I don’t care how high you lift your skirt, or if you just think you’re joining everyone else in the selling cess pool.  I am NOT going to buy from you if I don’t know you, like you, or trust you.  

This is one who ignores many rules, including “NEVER HARD SELL ON TWITTER.”  

Tut Tut

If I may add another rule:  “IT’S OK TO HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.”  

I am all for you telling us about your expertise, crafting amazing white papers about your successful clients, and of course your juicy Zig Ziglar quotes that make us feel better for 6 seconds.  But why can’t we remember that learning is mostly silent observation, note taking, and practice?  OK, so this has become a full on rant but – getting back to the main point – Twitter mirrors prostitution so closely that it’s hard to distinguish the two sometimes.

To build healthy, reciprocal relationships – be it personal or business, you have five main components.  They follow this order:  honor > security > your risk > their risk > and consummation.  Renowned business strategist Eric Beck makes an astounding analogy between dating/courtship and the process of redefining healthy vendor-customer relationships.  Click here to read Eric’s post on The New Language of Effective Marketing.

WHERE TO FIND HOPE

I’ve got a challenge for you.  Hell, I’ll join in because I’m a hypocrite if I don’t.  I’m writing and thinking through here.

For the next month (July of 2009) commit to spending as much time – or more – in front of a human being as you do hacking around Twitter.  That means tracking your time however it’s convenient.  

But really.  Calendar some time for cultivating the process:  honor > security > your risk > their risk > and consummation.  Also, schedule daily time – maybe just once or twice – for maintaining Twitter.  

Social media pundit Kyle P. Lacy submits that face-time with your Tweet-buddies and business prospects is a key to authenticity.  I couldn’t agree more.  

OK, yes, so I’m going to hang around the whorehouse some more to look for some good souls.  But I’m also committing to taking long walks, drinking some coffee, and listening to the hearts of people - all in the same real space.  

As always, I welcome your counterpoints and encouragement.  Please comment at will, which of course informs the experiment even more!

In the meantime, check the language you use in your marketing.  Is it self-referential?  Too sales-y?  Are YOU, the human being, woven into your brand or product?  Do you really think in terms of long term relationships?