Over the last three years, I have experienced – and documented - some major transformations in my approach to life; and it turns out that three accepted truths of our day turn out to be false. They are: (1) Hard Work Pays Off, (2) Practice Makes Perfect, and (3) Knowledge is Power.

That may sound contrarian, but to me the whole work-life balance issue needs a fresh perspective. I’m not saying you can solve your entire problem by reading an article, but you can at least consider some new ideas and build upon them (that means “implement”) in your own experience. We don’t know what we don’t know and that’s o.k. But we’re not going to get any better by accepting our chaotic fate. Make no mistake – attaining a true work life balance is both possible and valuable, so it merits our investigation here.

Let’s begin with the concept of ‘hard work.’

Recently I had the opportunity to spend several hours with a client on the golf course (speaking of hard work). This gentleman has been a successful business owner for more than 20 years. My question to him was, “If you could change one thing about your work over the last 20 years, what would that have been?” As he paused and reflected, I was expecting a tactical answer, such as, “Heavier marketing emphasis,” or “Better financial planning.” Instead, he offered, “I would have spent more time with my daughter.” He went on to explain how his 12-14 hour days – and subsequent absence - caused significant damage to his relationship with her. She is now 23. Although he and his daughter have begun to mend what was broken, the lesson was learned.

So what’s the legacy of hard work? I would submit to you that it is simply ‘hard work’. Hard work connotes a grueling regimen; it implies long hours, complex thinking, and physical and emotional stress. It is often a zero-sum game, where one unit of work equals one unit of return – akin to rowing the boat once to move it along one step – and repeating this over and over. Many people I know and love are trapped in this paradigm.

There is another, better type of work called ‘authorized’ work1. There are several differences, but the main one is that authorized work is work that has the proper authority behind it. This begs the question: what authorizes our work?

Our design. Our vision. Our key relationships. Those who are in authority over us. These are the key elements that authorize our work.

Doing authorized work, in short, is doing the work that brings life - in a sustainable, focused manner - to both your career and your personal life. Some will retort, “But you don’t understand . . . . I have to work 80 hours a week!” If this is your view, prepare for these tough questions: Has your spouse (or another high authority) authorized this? Are you shouldering the survival of your species on your own? Do you have a vision for success that includes the negligence of key people in your life? Is greed at the root of your unpunctuated cycle of horsewhipping yourself? Are you ignoring what’s most important?

This brings us to our second question: What are you practicing?

In my experience, I’ve noticed that many people practice a way of living that puts exhaustion before balance, money before sanity, and performance before people. This is a practice – or regimen – that lends itself to frustration, relational damage, and long term failure. It exists because someone – managers, well-meaning parents, counselors, professors, or TV - taught us to practice these things. So we repeat these things over and over expecting a better result, but we’re like a tiring insect caught in a spider’s web. Sooner or later we’re toast.

This is a glaring example of how practice does not make perfect. If you think about it, practice actually makes permanent. You may repeat a technique over and over, but the technique itself may be wrong. Take golf, for example. If you start by gripping the club with one hand at the top of the grip, and the other hand in the middle of the shaft, you may eventually be able to hit the ball fifty yards or so. But that club is designed to hit the ball three times as far! Bottom line is, if you’re practicing the wrong thing, no amount of practice will make it right.

What to do? Well, mastery is no cinch. But to start, consult an expert for proper technique, no matter the endeavor. Try a parent, a mentor, a friend, a co-worker, a spouse, or, if appropriate, hire a consultant.

I deliberately omitted ‘buy a book’ and ‘attend a seminar’. Why? While books, seminars, and information can be valuable, they lack a key nutrient to our success: leverage. And leverage – not knowledge - is power. Let me explain.

I am not down on books, nor am I down on any form of learning, study, or transmission of information. The problem is that knowledge, in and of itself, is powerless to enact change. For example, I know I shouldn’t eat bonbons for breakfast; I should instead head to the gym after I eat my bowl of oatmeal. My Uncle Jack knows he shouldn’t smoke two packs a day. Any obese overeater knows he should diet. But all that knowledge and resolve, in and of themselves, are powerless to cause a change of mind. See the legions of failed New Years Resolutionists.

Once we’ve decided to change, what keeps us on track? Ultimately, in order to enact change, we must rely upon key sources of leverage in our lives. The main sources of leverage I have found have been my key relationships, my natural strengths, my vision for success, and my training, experience, and preparation. In the most difficult battles, all of them must be utilized in unison.

We all have these leverage points to some degree. These are what keep us strong, focused, and encouraged – indeed, anchored to our post – so that we might be all we can be.

To sum up, here are your updated axioms! Learn them well: (1) Authorized Work Pays Off, (2) Practice Makes Permanent, and (3) Leverage Is Power. These three ideas may sound idealistic or weird, or like you’re being introduced to a new technology. But I have learned these things – while unlearning others - over a course of difficult but welcome experiences in my career and personal life. I hope they will help you as well.

 For time management, finanacial strategy, leadership strategy, and building strong teams for your business, please call Oberata Consulting at 281.570.4676